What not to do in an Audition
I have been to a few auditions, and I have held quite a few auditions. One thing that I know is what not to do.
When I was eighteen, I saw an ad in the paper (yes, the paper, that’s all we had and stop judging) soliciting for actors to be in a film. It was in the basement of a church in Fayetteville. I was suspicious about it and unsure about what I was walking into. I thought about all the news stories I had heard over my youth about abductions and the like. It made sense to me to feel that way; after all, it was Arkansas in the ’90s. No one around here made movies, at least not ones you could show to the public. But, I am pretty much not afraid of anything, so I went anyway.
They gave me the sides (script), and I looked through them, tried to memorize them, failing as usual. I can’t remember anything verbatim, an affliction that has haunted me all my life and cost me a passing grade in high school chemistry. I was nervous, and since I had never done anything like that before, I was absolutely out of my element.
I don’t know which one was the overriding reason for being an idiot, either the adrenaline or the absence of a healthy ego. After I delivered my lines, they asked me to do it again, and what came out of my mouth was absolute insanity. Definitely a learning experience, too bad it took a few years to figure that part out. I looked the guys straight in the eye and said, this is embarrassing, “If I can’t get it right the first time, I can’t ever get it right”!
Wow…. What an idiot!
Most of you don’t know this about me, but I can remember everything important that happened to me over my life. I can put myself right back in the situation, smell the air, feel the temperature, and hear the trees. I can’t memorize anything, but I can do that.
Because of this “gift,” I remember the expression on the man’s face when he asked me to “do it again.” It wasn’t what I thought it was at the time. I thought he was looking at me like I was nuts (this was right before I proved I was nuts), but he wasn’t. In actuality, he was impressed with my performance. He was trying to figure out how to get this young kid in his movie. I am even more sure of it now because I have had the same thoughts when auditioning someone that doesn’t quite fit the part but is pretty damned good. If I had stayed, repeated the performance, I might have started a movie career in 1993 instead of beguiling myself as an insurance agent for twenty-five years.
Since then, I have held many auditions and been in many more. I rarely get a part, but that is to be expected. I am a pretty unique looking individual, and my personality takes over any room. Not always a good fit for a gentle father. If there is ever was a call out for an old Orson Welles look-alike, but I might not be a shoo-in for the buff father figure. I probably won’t get the call, just sayin.
After all these years, I have figured out how to survive the auditioning process, just be me. You never know exactly what the person is thinking and whatever thoughts you believe they have in their heads, well… You are wrong.