Star Wars Episode IX The Rise Of Skywalker

It's Christmas eve, and all is calm... ok, no, not really everyone is out shopping and buying last-minute gifts and crap they don't need. I am ignoring the masses ignore the reason for the holiday and ignoring it myself, I would suppose. I am just a sinner, after all.

Catch the Christmas spirit already

I walk down the stairs in my garage and get in my badass ride. We have run out of allergy medication, and I need to get it. Half asleep and half in deep thought, I pull out into traffic and notice that my car is just as badass as I exclaimed it to be.

It is more than a car to me.

It wakes me up, makes me energized and happy to be driving. The power being sent to the ground lurches me into happiness, awareness, and just a little euphoria. I admit I am truly a car guy. Trucks are nice, SUV's are convenient and quite comfortable. But the raw horsepower and torque of my Mustang GT peels away the negative thoughts and makes everything ok again. That is until I get to Sam's Club, there I am confronted once again with the harsh reality that the world is still populated with people that have different interests than my own.

I make my rounds through the samples; you know the free discombobulated breakfast offered at these big box clubs that make you feel important, grab my allergy pills, and start towards the door. Then the inevitable, I meet one, two, and then three folks that want to talk to me. I don't mind; after all, I like to talk a little too much if compared to others in this world. But then I look at my watch. OH CRAP! It's almost One! I have to be at the theater for the Star Wars!

I didn't really want to see this movie. I really didn't want to see any of the other Star Wars movies. Well, except for the first three, or the middle three... whatever. I am more of a Star Trek kinda guy and not so much a Star Wars Nerd. Yeah, you read correctly, I didn't call myself a Star Trek Nerd. Trekkies and Trekkers are Star Trek nerds. I am neither. I just prefer Star Trek over Star Wars. Trust me, anything that was made before season six of The Next Generation could be erased from time, and I wouldn't be too upset. I could say the same for about fifty percent of the latest stuff in the Star Trek canon. Kind of like the prequels in the Star Wars Universe for a lot of the folks. If it isn't good, well, it just isn't good.

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From the beginning, I got the feeling that the film was trying to reclaim the feel of the first three (or middle three) films. The menacing death star, the overwhelming power and commanding presence of Darth Vader, the innocence of Luke, and the everyday life of living on what seems to be a wild frontier. It tried, but it failed. I mean it had glimpses of the right juice but just as it was about to find it's way the director threw in terrible dialogue, questionable characters with no direction and off the wall things like cute little beings or droids reacting to situations with innocent indignation.

Think about the relationship between R2 and C-3PO. They were not cute, cuddly droids just innocently making their way through the universe. They were sarcastic on the verge of being rancid towards each other. C-3PO even slaps R2 multiple times, and R2 laughs at his companion's folly continuously. None of which happens in this movie. The reality has been stripped away and replaced with gooey friendliness and Disney-esque "Ohana." Even Stitch was onery and quite risque under all his family and love.

This is supposed to be a movie about grit and powering through the worst things possible. But this movie, and the other two, seem to be more interested in being cute and modern instead of being what they indeed should be, a Hero's Journey.

The Rise of Skywalker is not a must-see. It is a solid Must Rent if only to be able to keep up with the office conversations and small talk at group dinners.

The plot is shattered into parts that any sixth-grader could come up with, unintelligible plot twists and no unexpected ending. Throughout the film, characters restate objectives even though everyone on screen and in the audience knows exactly what needs to be done. Characters reappear in scenes only because they are cute regardless of actual reasons for their appearance.

The only thing this movie has that is interesting is the grand set pieces. The visuals are fantastic and overwhelming in the right way. Cinematically, it is quite good. Theatrically, it is kind of a turd. At one point, they land on the island of the Valkyrie. It was overwhelmingly underwhelming and quite cliche. In fact, that scene was probably the only scene where Abrams screwed up on the visuals. I am cool with our characters being saved by women, I am perfectly fine with women having the masculine lead. It was this particular shot. It is hideous and evident that it was shot to make a point about gender and had nothing to do with forwarding the story. Once that scene was over, and the next grand stage was rolled out, I was excellent. The actress did a great job with the role, and I enjoyed watching her. Just not that one camera shot.

Top it off with a villain that has no reason to exist other than to be defeated, and you have a movie that only exists to separate fanboys and girls from their money. At no time was I ever challenged in a meaningful way by the film. Everything was always the way it should be, and that's a bad thing. Network Television has better stories every night (unless you only get the new Magnum P.I.) that will entertain you more.

What not to do in an Audition

I have been to a few auditions, and I have held quite a few auditions. One thing that I know is what not to do.

When I was eighteen, I saw an ad in the paper (yes, the paper, that’s all we had and stop judging) soliciting for actors to be in a film. It was in the basement of a church in Fayetteville. I was suspicious about it and unsure about what I was walking into. I thought about all the news stories I had heard over my youth about abductions and the like. It made sense to me to feel that way; after all, it was Arkansas in the ’90s. No one around here made movies, at least not ones you could show to the public. But, I am pretty much not afraid of anything, so I went anyway.

They gave me the sides (script), and I looked through them, tried to memorize them, failing as usual. I can’t remember anything verbatim, an affliction that has haunted me all my life and cost me a passing grade in high school chemistry. I was nervous, and since I had never done anything like that before, I was absolutely out of my element.

I don’t know which one was the overriding reason for being an idiot, either the adrenaline or the absence of a healthy ego. After I delivered my lines, they asked me to do it again, and what came out of my mouth was absolute insanity. Definitely a learning experience, too bad it took a few years to figure that part out. I looked the guys straight in the eye and said, this is embarrassing, “If I can’t get it right the first time, I can’t ever get it right”!

Wow…. What an idiot!

Most of you don’t know this about me, but I can remember everything important that happened to me over my life. I can put myself right back in the situation, smell the air, feel the temperature, and hear the trees. I can’t memorize anything, but I can do that.

Because of this “gift,” I remember the expression on the man’s face when he asked me to “do it again.” It wasn’t what I thought it was at the time. I thought he was looking at me like I was nuts (this was right before I proved I was nuts), but he wasn’t. In actuality, he was impressed with my performance. He was trying to figure out how to get this young kid in his movie. I am even more sure of it now because I have had the same thoughts when auditioning someone that doesn’t quite fit the part but is pretty damned good. If I had stayed, repeated the performance, I might have started a movie career in 1993 instead of beguiling myself as an insurance agent for twenty-five years.

Since then, I have held many auditions and been in many more. I rarely get a part, but that is to be expected. I am a pretty unique looking individual, and my personality takes over any room. Not always a good fit for a gentle father. If there is ever was a call out for an old Orson Welles look-alike, but I might not be a shoo-in for the buff father figure. I probably won’t get the call, just sayin.

After all these years, I have figured out how to survive the auditioning process, just be me. You never know exactly what the person is thinking and whatever thoughts you believe they have in their heads, well… You are wrong.

The best advice I can give any actor that isn’t classically trained or has thousands of parts under their belt is do the best you can. Be kind, listen to directions and keep putting your name in the hat.

Making short films always seems to turn into something bigger.

I love making films. If you didn’t know that already, well, now you do. Sometimes we have a fleshed-out script, and sometimes we don’t. The real fun of making films sometimes comes from not knowing what I am going to film and figuring it out as we go. I know that sounds dumb, but it always seems to work out.

This last weekend, we did exactly that. We had outlined a few scenes and practiced some stunts with the actors. It worked out alright; it was one of those times when working on a wing and a prayer just felt right.

What did she do?!

I made a few mistakes along the way, though. I accidentally recorded in SLog3 instead of 2 and damned near lost all of the takes. But I am a guru with Premier Pro and got most of it back. It took a little doing and a lot of noise reduction, but I think the footage is salvageable.

We did lose an actor along the way (a common occurrence), so I got to kill my screenwriter. Ok, no he’s not dead but its the only part that he can really nail. Yes, that’s a joke but not far from the truth. I am sure he will be complaining about me bashing him tomorrow. Screenwriters have thin skin sometimes.

Is he really Dead?

He’s just acting.

The short film I am working on is supposed to be a scary, art/horror piece that is meant to drive tension in the viewer. Through the use of heavy sound effects and long, arduous takes, the stillness of the film is intended to bring dread and dark suspense to the viewer. Maybe I am accomplishing that, and perhaps I am not. Only the final product will tell.

I’m trying to schedule a re-shoot for a couple of shots. All I can do is hope the weather holds out and they show back up. No one is getting paid for this and, if anything, it just costs me money. So I understand why people would not want to spend bucks to work for free. The thing is; to be a working actor, you must work for free and build that reel. Because, if you don’t have a reel, you aren’t getting any work.

And Honestly, that’s part of the reason I am shooting this on my own dime. That and I really love making films.

On the set; A film that took six years to make.

On The Set of

The “Tech Files” by Joseph Hitchcock

As you know, I love filmmaking. The one thing that always brings a smile to my face is when a project is finished, and the world gets to see. Just the other day, I worked on a film set with one of the most exciting filmmakers in NWA Joseph Hitchcock on a project that has taken six years to finish principal photography.

Yes, you read that right, Six Years.

For me, that is an insanely long time. I tend to get my projects done in record time. It works for me, and I consistently win awards for my films. But not everyone who makes films does it this way. Sometimes, for an artist to really get what they want, it takes forever. It isn't a good thing or a bad thing, it is just how they operate.

No, he is not related to Alfred, but I do share the same birthday as the heralded filmmaker of classics such as "North by Northwest) .

Alfred Hitchcock and I have the same birthday!

Many years ago, Hitchcock asked me to film an action sequence for him. It was in a parking garage somewhere in Fayetteville, and I was more than excited to do it. Remember, I think this stuff is super fun and would do it all day for free if I didn't have bills to pay. He had some shots he wanted to get, and I talked him into getting some extra stuff that I thought would be super interesting. The shoot ended and I thought that was the end of it. I looked and stalked his online profiles for about a year, hoping to see the final product, It never appeared.

Oh well, I thought, such is filmmaking. Maybe it wasn't any good, or perhaps the other shots were so different from what I shot that it blew up the entire project. This is something that happens when you have several different shooters on a film. One may be conservative with their shots, and another is super aggressive, causing the film to look disjointed and hard to watch.

Turns out, that wasn't the case with this film (called The Tech Files), it was more of a matter of not having the time to do it, I would suppose. In fact, Hitchcock just got back from Eastern Europe where he has been living for the past year or more, and before that, he was living in L.A. while he was touring the country for his music career. He just did not have the time and opportunity to finish the dang thing.

Action sequence I shot from the film “The Tech Files”

Come on man, get off the phone Hitch!

As always, there were significant hiccups with the production. The warehouse that was scheduled for shooting canceled. I hate that. Hitchcock was scrambling hard to find a warehouse to shoot in with only hours to spare. We brainstormed for a while and came up with a couple of solutions. Finally settling on a place called "Free Geek." The lady who runs the place is pretty nice, she let us use the warehouse without any restrictions.

For those of you that don't know, Free Geek is a non-profit that recycles old electronics. If you have a bunch of hardware left over from dead or dying computers, printers or whatever, that's the place to take them rather than throwing them away. If they can refurbish them, they do. If they are just dead, they break them down into parts and send them to the appropriate places rather than just the landfill.

Plus, if you need something, they probably have it at a price that's much less than new. They also help out the community when technology is, but there are few funds to pay for it. The non-profit I run, Arts and Entertainment Council, get stuff from there every now and again.

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Needless to say, we shot some pretty exciting stuff. I am eager (once again) to see the final product.

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On that note, I do have a few projects of my own coming down the pipe. I am holding the first rehearsal or table read for a three page short about a Queen who has finally captured the leader of the resistance. This should be interesting, and honestly, it comes right before the giant fight scene that would typically be there.

The other project of consequence is Three "twenty-somethings" who find themselves being hunted by the most dangerous supernatural monsters imaginable only to find that the supernatural is also what can save them as well as gain a great friend. Yeah, I am still working on that logline.

I accidentally wrote a movie.

Writing is hard. Just ask anyone who has tried to write something that is somewhat coherent and actually has a story that makes sense. There are so many rules, regulations that you have to follow as well as being creative at the same time. For me, I have always found it hard to get too far past the first act and into the “fun and games,” (as Blake Snyder calls it) portion of any script. Today, however, was the exception.

I actually sat down to write a ten page short that I could fund and shoot myself (by fun I meant it actually doesn’t cost anything other than time), I knew what I wanted, I knew what I needed to get there. Yet, I still held fast to the baked in rules of screenwriting. I didn’t mean to, but I did it anyway. Like I say in my podcast all the time, I plotted it out, found the turns and went in for the kill, but ten pages just isn’t enough time.

I got to the point I wanted to make, I set up the relationship of the main character with her boyfriend, I introduced the characters for the “B” story and gave the boyfriend more time to tell his story so his role could grow. Then came the mentor. The mentor is the Obi-Wan Kenobi character that teaches our main protagonist how to navigate the world and the tools they will need to defeat the Dark Night of the Soul. Then I thought, wait… How many pages is this? I looked, and I was on page 14. CRAP!

See; usually, a screenplay needs to have the first ten pages for setup and the turn into the second act, give or take. The reason for the ten pages is mostly due to the script readers at the studios only giving you ten pages to hook them. The mentor comes in just before that, and you should have a visit from every character so we can see just where they are starting out in the world, set the rules of the world and a couple of other things, things the audience needs to know.

After looking up and seeing my page count, I realized that I had accidentally hit every beat of a FIRST ACT. I completely missed my target of getting to all the beats needed to make a sound, readable story in ten pages. Heck, the mentor for the story was even introduced on page eight, and the turn into act two was expressed. DANG IT! I didn’t mean to do that.

Accepting my fate, I went ahead and thought about the next things that needed to be done. Fun and Games, Dark Night of the Soul, and the Finale. The damn thing is, I hit them all and more. The “B” stories come to fruition right at the page they should, they team up and war against the Antagonist at just the right time and find that one of the “B” story characters is the key to defeating the bad guy. I didn’t set out to make this a movie but damn it...

Why am I mad about this, you may ask. Well, I need a short film to shoot not ANOTHER screenplay to finish. I have about fifty already. But this one is way ahead of the game. The only downfall of this screenplay is that it is more of a Rom-Com than anything else. I’ve never attempted one of these before, and I am not sure it is a good enough story to actually spend all the time it takes to write.

I guess I’ll keep pluggin along. Maybe it will turn into something interesting a draft or two into it.

New podcast!

As of today, I have a new podcast available on Apple podcasts called “Aul G Newton on Everything”. Go to the podcast app on your apple device or visit the page or go to the page if you don’t have an Apple device or use iTunes. 

https://www.paulgnewton.com/paulgnewton-on-everything

Review of Thor Ragnarok

I finally gave in and went to see the heralded Thor Ragnarok last night.  I did not want to see it, really, but many of the screenwriting podcasts I have been listening to, like The Curious about Screenwriting Podcast, seem to love the story. While I felt it had some relative fun aspects to the movie, I did not feel that it left me wanting to see more or other films.

The story structure seems sound, its flow was not interrupted with randomness or unnecessary scenes that failed to complete the mission of furthering the story. It did have redeeming character traits that made the characters somewhat likable and, on the first watch, the story seemed succinct. That did not spur my imagination and left me with a feeling of emptiness when leaving the theater. It was not a bad movie, and it did everything right in the way that movies are doing them today, but it didn't do what I want a movie to do and create a lasting impression upon my psyche that I can carry with me on my travels through my own life.

I do have to applaud the movie for trying to stay true to its roots in the 1970s, 1980's motif that the first one had with its cheesy subtitles and crummy music but even that left me rolling my eyes because of the recent phenomena of the Netflix Stranger Things. It actually cheapened it for me because I hate pandering, especially in a film where the movie has to hold its own for the sake of itself. Even though, I must admit that no movie seems to do that these days. A practice that I believe should still be first and foremost in the minds of the creators of any film yet has seemed to fall out of favor. 

The film opens with Thor being trapped by a Devil looking creature that makes no literal sense to anyone like myself... but there is a reason for the creature as it is blatantly and needed for the movie to have an ending. Unfortunately for this film, I knew exactly what this character's purpose was at about three minutes in. Ultimately telling me the conclusion of the movie and leaving no suspense or tension to make me WANT to keep watching. Then it did it again and again... Every new character that was introduced strengthened my guess and eventually left me with two hours of my time taken from me while draining my pockets of the money it took to purchase the ticket. At the end of the film, I found myself ultimately disappointed in the plot and story because at no point did anything task my senses or make me second guess the ending that was already completed in my mind. In fact, the only other movie that was more blatant about its end at the very beginning was a terrible film that had so much potential but the worst story ever called "The Others" starring Nichole Kidman. This movie is about a mother and her children who are haunted by ghosts, but it turns out that they are actually the ghosts. Something that was very thinly veiled at the beginning leaving nothing to the imagination and thus ruining the story.

One thing that immediately set off my alarms is when Thor losses his hammer just shortly after his father dies.  The only recourse for the character is to take the throne from the bad, bad lady in the Maleficent outfit and kill her with the thing holding Thor prisoner at the beginning of the movie. I mean they didn't even try. The fact that her horns and the horns of what could be mistaken as the devil from "Pick of Destiny" look exactly the same are just some of the dead giveaways. Needless to say, any entertainment value from this movie could only come from the crude and silly jokes, insider trading of the Avengers prior films and fighting. None of which actually advance the story or make any sort of coherent point that might stimulate anyone other than fanboys who would watch any Marvel movie with exuberance just because it is a Marvel movie, regardless of its content or quality.

I tried to enjoy the movie, I honestly did. The laments of Thor as he tries to be cool but just isn't are humorous and usually might make him more human but fail miserably and only serve to throw us out of the film and remind us that we are in a theater and not somewhere else. Then there is the CGI. It is supposed to be, but it looks horrendous. None of the places looked real to me at any point other than the short scene on earth where they are talking to their father. Everything else was half baked and cheap. I know what it takes to make stuff in computer land look real and have done it myself, and I assure you, it could have been done much better for an extra couple of hours worth of work. Not only do the locations look very fake and seem to make us want to believe that outer space exists in the land of Roger Rabbit all of the animated characters look equally bad. At no point did I ever believe Hulk was in the same room as Thor and not just some cartoon skillfully drawn but poorly colored.

I would say this movie is worth a watch on Netflix or Amazon Prime, but that is about as far as I would go. It isn't a terrible movie, but it's not that great either. Films should challenge us, make us want to be right next to the character on the screen and endear themselves into our psyche when we are done watching them. Genuine cinematic gold must contain something of lasting value that stays with you. Thor, Ragnarok doesn't even come close to doing this on any level, and it is a waste of time. If you want pure entertainment for the sake of entertainment, watch something else because this doesn't even accomplish that. Terminator 2 is better at just tantalizing your brain, probably because it's endearing and leaves you different than you were before you saw it the first time. Something this movie and most of its contemporaries fail to do.